Roberta died yesterday. Dr. Brown opened up her leg and discovered a huge tumor inside. It was inoperable and most likely cancerous. We asked her to euthanize Berty while she was still under anesthesia, so she would not feel any more pain.

Devastated is not a big enough word for how I feel. I really thought she would come home today. I thought she would recover inside, in the house with me. Her little cart/sling was ready, her meds were ready. I was ready...

I sat out in the grass with her yesterday before her appointment. She was quacking at me, happy and relaxed. But that poor leg of hers was getting worse by the day and she was losing her mobility.

I took a photo of her in the vet office on my phone and petted her and she gave me a hug over my shoulder. I kissed her as they took her to her little apartment in the back, a quiet little area in a quiet little room. It as not a metal cage; I couldn't have left her there if it was. A little toucan was next door to her.

When the call came, I couldn't get out any words. They asked me what I wanted to do and I just choked. I barely got out that I needed a minute to think. I had to get off the phone and have Tony call back. I was blindsided.

I came home and picked up Gulliver and sat him on my knee and he pressed his neck into me and I told him I was sorry and that I wished she could've stayed with us longer. I was planning to keep her. I really wanted to keep her...

Gulliver & Berty