I have been keeping everyone updated on Rio's health on Facebook and so many well-wishes have come through. I really thought I would get him through this. I've set everything else aside to focus everything I have on him--on his getting well, but it isn't working.

He grew stronger during the first week of syringe feeding and we really thought he was pulling through, but as I feared, it was just going from not eating to having food put into him that helped him to feel better. The root cause of this appears to be renal (kidney) failure. His legs are visibly more yellow in color than Moon's mauve legs--and they used to have the same color legs. His bill is more yellow too. He still has diarrhea... nothing has helped. He drinks non-stop to try to stay hydrated, which isn't working and why we have to hydrate him via catheter and sub-c fluids.

He's at the point now where he sinks a little more every day. He no longer stands--and can barely stand up while I feed him. He has been unstable on his legs since early on in this battle. The vet hoped it was dehydration and we could remedy it, but it is a symptom of renal failure. While we don't believe he has zinc poisoning (clear x-ray), his zinc results won't come back until tomorrow, but honestly... we couldn't get our hands on his treatment until Friday if it were zinc and I don't know that he would make it that long, nor do I think he's strong enough to tolerate the drug.

So I'm at this fork in the road... do I ease him over today... or do I wait for the zinc results to confirm it is negative and that it is definitely renal failure. Why wait? If on some offhand chance it is zinc, I don't think he can handle the treatment anyway, but should I give him that 1% chance? Or would that just mean more pain and suffering for him?

I have to let him go...

It's time...

My God... how am I going to handle this... Moon will need to come along, so that he understands his 10 year old brother and lifetime friend has left us, so that he doesn't believe I took him away. He needs to understand. But how will I handle hearing his screams when they come? How will I help him through this loss?

How can we have Duran Duran with only one Duran?

Prayers for Moon-Moon today...

My poor babies...

Duran Rio (left) and Duran Moon (right)

Afternoon...

Just came home from letting Rio go. His zinc test, as expected, was negative. In renal failure, we let him go as planned. Moon was by his side standing over him throughout and while I eased Rio over, I embraced Moon and he draped his neck over my shoulders and we just held each other.

I thought he might call out and cry, but instead his pain ran so deep he could only open his bill... like when your tears choke so much you can't make a sound. There was no doubt he understood everything that was going on. I gave him some time and then asked the vet to take Rio away. I wanted Rio to leave us and not Moon to leave Rio.

I loaded him into his carrier and brought him to the car. He cried a half dozen times as we pulled out of the parking lot and then fell silent.

I brought him home... outside... where he hasn't been since Rio became ill two weeks ago. The sun was shining. I gave him a bucket of water and a bowl of food and he ate and drank and then sunk down to the ground. He bathed while sitting and after about 15 minutes, found his legs again and stood up. He walked around the little barn and over to the two houses where he and Rio always slept. He checked inside them and then looked behind them and then came back over to me.

"I know, baby... He's not there..."

He's letting me pet him and reassure him, but he is so sad... he's letting his wings droop in depression.

So I ran out to the store and brought him watermelon and lettuce. I made a promise to Rio that I would take care of his Moon-Moon and I am not going to let him down.