Benny Boy a few months ago, my webbed footprints in
the sky assuring me it was his time to go inspired
me to re-connect with my spirituality--to try to
deepen my bond with what's really important. I set
out to find a church that shares my beliefs and
where I feel comfortable. Isabel and I went to a few
before sinking into the right one.
I usually feel
pretty out of place with the other people there
despite feeling a connection God and with our
pastor. I don't know... I guess they all seem so
close, like a family, and I feel sort of left out
and don't really know how to get in. It's like being
the new kid in class--where you feel like everyone's
watching you and wondering who you are, but no one
talks to you.
I like to sit
in the pew near the window, where the sun shines
through over me. And I spend most of my time
thinking of Benny Boy and recently our dear Lilly.
And then I remember Jezebel, Elijah, Joven, Daisy
May, Neo, Vida, Desitny, Duran Rio, Deirdre
Dear Heart... and so many more.
No one there
knows about our sanctuary or what I do except for
the pastor. I've told her about it and shared quite
a few emails and photos. Her being an animal lover
is one of the reasons I feel at home at this church.
But I haven't told any one else because I'm just not
strong enough now to handle any "dinner" or
"hunting" slurs, so I haven't mentioned it at
all--not that anyone's asking.
Anyway... I was
thinking... every week the pastor asks who has seen
God this week. And I thought how amazing it would be
if this Sunday I could speak up for the first time
since going and say, "I saw God this week when Young
Matthew made a turn for the better after being so
emails me every day and asks how Young Matthew is doing.
Yesterday I replied, "I'm praying I will see God
this week... because if I don't, I fear my dear
Young Matthew will... and I don't know what I'll do
She has sent
so many supportive emails and among them was my
Heavenly Father, our human ties with our friends of
other species is
wonderful and a special gift from You. We now ask
You to grant our
special Young Matthew your care and your healing
take away any suffering he has. Give us, his human
new understanding of our responsibilities to these
Yours. They have trust in us as we have in You; our
theirs are on this earth together to give one
another friendship, love,
affection, and caring. Take our heartfelt prayers
and fill Young Matthew
with healing Light and strength to overcome whatever
weakness of body he has.
We lift up Young Matthew to you.
Your goodness is turned upon every living thing and
Your grace flows
to all Your creatures. From our souls to theirs
touching each of us with the reflection of Your
love. Grant to our
special companions long and healthy lives. Give them
relationships with us, and if You see fit to take
them from us, help
us to understand that they are not gone from us, but
closer to You. Please watch over them until they are
safely with You in eternity, where we someday hope
to join them in
giving You honor forever. Amen.
I printed it up and read it to Young Matthew
and taped it over his head and I move it around the
house, to whatever room he's in. Isabel reads it to
yesterday with prayer in window
It's nearly 7:00 pm and thinking on Matthew's day,
I'm cautiously, slightly optimistic. It's just a few
little things that make me feel he might be feeling
a little relief, but whether it's the higher dose of
pain meds, or improvement... I can't say for sure.
His head was a little more upright today, he was
quacking a little more today (even Tony noticed when
he came home) and even made a tiny little poo
doo--although it was very loose. Still, when you're
looking for signs of improvement, any sign will
do--even one made of poop.
I switched him from regular Ensure today to the
weight gain formula for a higher calorie count. I'm
still stirring in A/D canned dog food and Critical
Young Matthew also gets:
1) A bowl of water with Sav-A-Chick vitamins mixed
in (one pack per gallon).
2) A bowl of water with ground up Mazuri food mixed
3) A bowl with dry Mazuri food ground into
4) And of course a hopeful sprinkle of lettuce on