Jezebel has cancer. Today I have to say good-bye to
her. I rescued her over 7 years ago along with
Destiny, who passed away years ago. They were our
first rescues and now I have to let her go. I hate
knowing that it's coming at 5:15 pm and this is our
last day.
I brought her tons of nightcrawlers yesterday and
lettuce and spent time with her, but I know what she
wants most of all is to be with Matthew, Jeffrey,
Vida and Deirdre--her best friends. I know she just
wants time with them. They're in the grassy pen now.
I'm going to head out in a few minutes and let them
all out onto the pond together, just the five of
them.
Taken Yesterday:
Jezebel, Deirdre & Vida
I will always remember her eyes... always so
soulful... always so deep and knowing... I tried to
get a picture of them yesterday, so I would still be
able to look into them sometimes, but... it's just not
the same...
My final gift to Jezebel was to let her swim out on
the pond today with just Deirdre, Vida, Jeffrey and
Matthew... Just the five of them together... just
like in the old days when we just started
rescuing... I don't know what else I can do for her
other than give her some alone time with her best
friends before she and I share her final minutes,
with her embraced in my arms...
Taken Today:
Letting go of Jezebel was so hard; waiting to walk
down to the barn to get her was the worst part. I
let her enjoy the company of her friends for as long
as I could before picking her up and taking her with
me.
When we arrived at the vet, I put a towel down on
the table and I knelt on the floor and pet her belly
and kissed her bill. She normally is pretty shy and
prefers not to be touched, but she didn't mind at
all. She was unusually calm. I stroked the sides of
her neck and kissed her a few more times and then
she sat down on my arm.
Normally, Jezebel panics at the vet and
hyperventilates, but not today. Not today. She was
just ready. Her breathing was heavy. I could feel
the weight of her breaths as the cancer gripped
around her inside. She was ready.
First an injection to sedate her, the same kind they
use to prep animals for surgery and then the one to
send her gently on her way. I held her close to me
and kept my eyes on her, so she would know she was
not alone and that I was with her. I promised her I
would not leave her until she left me first. And
then she did. I felt her soul pass and I looked up
at our vet and told him she was gone. He checked and
confirmed and then gave me a few more minutes to say
good-bye, but I already had... I already had...
Jezebel was ready to go. Her time here with us, I'll
never forget. She was just the most gentle duck I've
ever known and in the end, her deep brown, soulful
eyes looked directly into mine and kindly asked me
to let her go. I told her Elijah & Destiny would
both be there to greet her as she crossed over.
Dear Jezebel,
I will always remember you. I remember when Young Matthew loved you.
I remember when we lost your best friend Destiny duck
who was like a sister to you. I remember your grief.
I remember when Deirdre "Dear heart" came to join us, and then
Matthew didn't pay enough attention to you anymore.
I remember your grief, but I also remember your
kindness. You
never begrudged Deirdre and the two of you and
Vida were like 3 sisters and ever have been since. Your
loyalty to each other, your sisterhood, always
inspired me.
And then one day, Elijah came to us and he saw
your brown eyes, and the two of you fell in love.
You
loved each other so much. And I know when you lost
him, it broke your heart. Your heart has been broken
so many times. I see it in the depth of your eyes.
I know Elijah will be
there waiting there for you when you cross over, and you
will be together again. And someday when I am old, I
pray you will both be there together to greet me
when I cross over. Your smiles always made me happy.
Please tell Elijah how much I miss his special
quack.
My Beloved Jezebel, I hope you were happy here. I hope
I gave
you everything you ever wanted and needed and desired. I
hope you know I love you. Because I love you too, my
dear & gentle, darling & sweet, most beautiful,
most special girl.
Love,
Momma Duck
